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07/01/2010

Excerpts from the 2010 Convention Executive Director’s Message

By Stephen J. Gehlert, OFDA Executive Director

Congratulations to the newly elected officers.  Thank you to all the Officers, Board Members and Regional Directors.  I look forward to working with each of you in the coming year.  I want to especially thank Tom and Lyn for a terrific year.  Also, a special thanks to the staff for all of their hard work. 

I’d like to recognize two members of the OFDA staff.  Laura – 5 years of employment and Bob – 10 years of employment.  The OFDA staff collectively has more than 95 years of experience serving our membership.

In recent years, Texas Hold ‘Em has grown to be one of the most popular poker games.  You see it on TV, there are tournaments all over the country, and it seems to be the rage among young college students when they get together for a friendly game of cards.

The most dramatic move in a game of Texas Hold ‘Em is when a player goes ‘all in.’  The ‘all in’ move involves the willingness to risk everything left on the table.  The participant bets everything they have left on one hand.

      Although I know no one is going to risk their business and livelihood in this type of dramatic move, I did wonder what an ‘all in’ strategy might look like in the funeral profession.  What if we committed our firms and our employees to an ‘all in’ strategy with a 100% commitment to:

• Integrity in every case, every time
• Service with heroic efforts to please our families
• Management and support of our employees
• Communication of the value of funerals
• Community involvement
• Preneed
•  

      What prevents us from going ‘all in’ in these areas?  Many times it is FEAR.  The reality is – fear can be paralyzing.

      I read recently that in the New Testament, there are 125 Christ-issued imperatives.  Of those, 21 urge us not to be afraid!  That’s 17% of the imperatives Jesus issued during his ministry.  Fear is very real, and we need to understand it in order to conquer it, and not let it control our lives.

How Real Is Fear?

      In the book, “Complete Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook,” many of our deepest fears are addressed.  For example, the book offers guidance about what to do if:

• An octopus traps you on the ocean floor (launch into a flurry of somersaults)
• You encounter a shark (punch the eyes and gills)
• You’re locked in the grip of a silverback gorilla (stroke it’s arm while loudly smacking your lips) – OR –
• You’re plummeting from the sky in a malfunctioning parachute
• Trapped in a falling elevator
• On a blind date
• A teenager taking driving lessons

      This book has answers to all those fears and more, but I don’t believe we lose much sleep over these fears.

What About Other More Practical Fears?

• In crisis of debt and tossed about by creditors
• Recession and tossed about by stimulus packages and bailouts
• Growing old and senile
• Not able to take care of your family
• Unemployment
• Fear of violence

These are some of the practical fears we all face every day.  The question is how best to overcome these fears and, thus, be able to move forward with certainty, confidence and peace.

      One of my favorite books and movies is ‘Band of Brothers’ which is the story of the Easy Company in World War II.  It shows the incredible strength and power of friendship in, not only overcoming fear, but in creating bonds that not even time can destroy.  As I reflect on the story of ‘Band of Brothers,’ I like to look at the similarities of the friendships forged under battle conditions and those that we nurture in an association.    I know our situation is not as dramatic as a combat life or death scenario, but many lessons are similar.  For instance:

• The importance of friendship
• The simple truth is we can’t do life ALONE—we need each other.

And an association gives us the unique opportunity to share successes, failures, advice, encouragement and wisdom with each other in a protected environment.

      What are the other elements of friendship commonly seen through our association?

• Enjoy each other’s company
• Useful to each other
• Common commitment
• Shared mission
• Friends respect each other even when they disagree

Who Are Your Band of Brothers?

• Funeral directors in your community
• Districts
• OFDA Board of Directors
• Classmates
• Committee members you serve with
• Members of the OFDA staff
• Employees in your own funeral homes
•  

One of my favorite scripture verses says simply “A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.”  Wow, can you imagine having a friend or brother who just can’t wait to help you through your difficult times—a brother or sister who knows they were born to be there for you?!

      We talked earlier of fears we all face daily.  Sharing through our friendships can greatly alleviate these fears.  These basic solid relationships also help create an environment where our diversities can come together to raise us all to greater heights -- Diversity in culture, big city vs. small towns, and large vs. small volume funeral homes.

      What appears to be major differences are actually strengths we need to share with each other.  I truly believe to grow into the type of association we need to aspire to be, we need to embrace our diversity and let it unite us in our common mission as opposed to letting it divide us as it can easily do.

      Let’s strive to work together to promote the best interests of funeral service throughout Ohio and the entire country.  Let’s do it as brothers and sisters who will share adversity with each other in order to make each of us better than we can be working alone.  That is the real purpose and value of this association.

      In closing, let’s remember the words from the play, “Henry V” before the battle and seek which were the inspiration for the book and movie, ‘Band of Brothers.’

      From this day to the ending of the world, but we in it shall be remembered.

            We few, we happy few, we Band of Brothers;

            For he to day that sheds his blood with me

            Shall be my brother.

      The bond of friendship is what this Association must promote.  IN reality it is the very heart of why associations exist and what their true purpose is. A picture to keep in your mind as we form our Band of Brothers is of a small child following his father through the snow.

He stretches to step where his dad stepped—no easy task.  His father, seeing what the son is doing, smiles and begins taking shorter steps so the son can follow easily.

      It’s a picture of great friendship.  In our profession, we follow in someone’s steps.  A parent, a teacher, a former boss, a personal hero—none of us are the first to walk in the track.  All of us have someone we follow.  We in turn leave footprints for others to follow – a son or daughter, employees – none should be left to walk the trail alone. It’s the principle of friendship and brotherhood.

      The knowledge that we have such valued friendships will enable us to overcome any fear and to commit ourselves, our firms, our employees, and our Association to an ‘all in’ attitude on behalf of funeral service in Ohio.